Better Than You

The Ask a House Cleaner Show and Podcast with Angela Brown

Are you paralyzed by cleaning customers who think they are better than you? Many house cleaners and maids have thin skin. Some clients will act like they're better than you with put-downs disguised as jokes. Beware of critical comments, superior behavior and other unwelcome comments that provoke shame. Nobody is better than you. The inferiority complex is part of keeping up with the Jones’s and is judgmental and can make you feel bad if you let it.

Are you paralyzed by cleaning customers who think they are better than you? Many house cleaners and maids have thin skin. Some clients will act like they’re better than you with put-downs disguised as jokes.

Beware of critical comments, superior behavior and other unwelcome comments that provoke shame.

Angela Brown in this #CareSeries suggests you ignore the arrogance. Nobody is better than you. The inferiority complex is part of keeping up with the Jones’s and is judgmental and can make you feel bad if you let it.

Listen: Cleaning Customers Who Think They’re Better Than You

Watch: Cleaning Customers Who Think They’re Better Than You

Hey there, I’m Angela Brown, and this is Ask a House Cleaner. This is a show where you get to ask a house cleaning question, and I get to help you find an answer. You can find this and 400 other answered questions in this series on our YouTube channel.

What Do You Do When a House Cleaning Customer Tries to Act Better Than You?

No one can make you feel less than. Nobody has control over your emotions, except you. You’re the one that gets to live inside your head and your heart, and you decide how you’re going to feel.

No one else has control over that, and nobody is better than you. So, if someone is saying things that make you feel less than, that is your data.

That is something that you are bringing to the table. You are choosing to feel inferior or choosing to feel less than.

Play the Part of a Professional House Cleaner

Think of it like you’re an actor. Jump into the mind frame of a character. A character means you get to be anybody you want to be. So, when you choose to show up to clean people’s houses, choose to be a house cleaner. Show up looking like a house cleaner. Act like a house cleaner. Be a house cleaner.

Then, when a narcissistic person says, “Well, you’re nothing but a house cleaner.” You can say with pride, “Yes, I am!” There you go. You won that round and achieved your goal. Your goal was to be the house cleaner.

Own Your Title

Now, there are a lot of people that don’t want the title of a house cleaner. They try to use a fancier name like house cleaning specialist. Or sometimes they say things like, “I beautify people’s homes.”

Don’t do that. Bring it right down to the raw basics. If this is a competition and the homeowner needs to win by calling you a house cleaner, guess what? You’re a house cleaner. Own it.

Then, they get to feel however they want, and you get to feel the way you want. It should not make you feel inferior, or less than, because you’re a house cleaner.

This is a profession you chose, right? Nobody forced you into people’s houses to clean. It was your choice to be your own boss. So, yes, you are a house cleaner. Be proud of it. You clean people’s houses, and if people don’t like that, it’s fine. They still hired you anyway.

Money Doesn’t Make You Rich or Better

Lloyd Glauberman Ph.D., who is a brilliant psychologist, has a philosophy that may help. He says, “Many people have money but their lives are not rich.” What does that mean? Think about it.

In house cleaning, you run into a lot of people with a lot of money. But guess what?

Many of them live lives that are not rich, and they focus on keeping up with the Joneses. They get bigger cars, boats, houses, and more expensive stuff. Then, they want to compete with their neighbors, the Joneses.

The Big Secret

Here’s a question for you. Who are the Joneses? Why are we keeping up with them? That’s when you start to focus on yourself and your own, personal life. So, here’s the big secret. Listen closely.

You have to live with yourself 24 hours a day, seven days a week, every week of the year for the rest of your life. That’s the secret. You do not have to live with the people whose houses you clean.

When you live with yourself, you have a choice. Are you going to live a life that is rich? And what does that mean? If it means having bigger stuff than the neighbors, that usually means more debt.

Is that living a life that’s rich or is that gluttony? You’re trying to keep one-upping the other guy and you need to figure out why.

Keep It in Perspective

It’s a futile situation. But, if you wake up and say, “Wait a second, today I’m in perfect health. I am mentally healthy, and I can make healthy choices.” That’s all you really need in life.

Focus on all the positive things. There’s a roof over your head, so you have shelter. You’re not starving. You’ve got plenty of food, so you’re well-nourished, and you have a family that loves you.

You get to be your own boss at a job you love. It’s a job you can do as much or as little as you want. The people you work with are your choice. If there are hateful customers, you can choose not to work with them anymore.

How rich do you have to be? That is a rich life. Money can’t do that for you.

It’s Mind Over Matter

There will always be someone who has more money than you and someone who has less money than you.

There’s always somebody who is happier than you, and someone who is not as happy as you.

So, you have to stop and say, “I am the creator of my own personal life, and I choose to be happy and I choose to be rich.” So, whoever is making you feel like they are better than you has lost the power to control your thoughts.

You have a choice. Choose not to feel that way. Wake up and say, “My life is rich. I don’t have all the money in the world, but my life is rich. I have everything I could possibly need or want in this life.”

Life Just Got Good

When you take control of your emotions and feelings – that’s when life gets good. It releases a whole lot of stress from trying to keep up with these invisible Joneses.

Yeah, there will be somebody with a bigger boat, but they have more debt. And if you don’t have a boat, then hey, that’s one less payment.

The good news is this, no one can make you feel bad, except you. Choose not to let other people’s words affect your self-esteem.

And if someone says, “Well, you’re just a house cleaner.” Tell them, “I am, yes!” Take ownership of it. You are a house cleaner, and you chose this profession.

No one is making you do it. So, take the title and make the most of it because you know what? If you stop and you take a good look at your life, you’re probably very rich and you didn’t even know it.

Now, if this tip helped you, please share with a friend. Because you never know, it might make someone’s day. And until we meet again, leave the world a cleaner place than when you found it.

Resources

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How to Kill A Narcissist: Debunking the Myth of Narcissism and Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse – https://amzn.to/2OaMY5h

Start Here: A Crash Course in Understanding, Navigating, and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse – https://amzn.to/2Ya3Zwd

The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse – https://amzn.to/2Srz7py

Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People – https://amzn.to/32FRM5H