Compliments and complaints about your house cleaning. Do you have jealous relatives who spout opinions about your clean house that leave you confused? Debbie Downer gives you veiled compliments when she complains that you’re “too tidy.” Or maybe “your house is too clean” or “too organized.”
And you can’t figure out if they’re compliments or complaints but the words make you feel bad.
Listen: Compliments and Complaints for Your House Cleaning
Watch: Compliments and Complaints for Your House Cleaning
Hey there, I’m Angela Brown, and this is Ask a House Cleaner. This is a show where you get to ask a house cleaning question, and I get to help you find an answer. You can find this and 400 other answered questions in this series on our YouTube channel.
How Do Compliments and Complaints Make You Feel
Compliments and complaints. How do you feel if someone compliments your home? How would you feel if they had complained about it?
We live in a world where people either compliment you or they will complain. It’s sad that the majority of people are negative nellies and will complain.
They will say things like, “Oh, you shouldn’t spend so much time cleaning your house.” Well, unless they live there, what does it matter. Who cares?
Relatives Will Complain About Your Home
There are people who are going to come to your house and they’re usually relatives. Your friends are usually polite enough that they’re not going to say anything.
But when your relatives come to your house, they’re going to nitpick. I don’t know why relatives do this, but they feel they have permission or a free pass to say whatever they want.
When the relatives come, turn it off. Don’t even listen to them because what they say is usually unfounded.
My Relatives Nitpick and Complain About my House
Now I have those relatives. I have relatives that will come to my house and nitpick stuff. And my house is pretty clean because I’m a house cleaner. That’s what I do. That’s who I am.
And so, if you come to my house, you’re going to be pretty hard-pressed to find stuff that’s out of place. Now it might not be 100%. It might be like 99% but it’s pretty clean.
What to do When People Complain About Your House
So when relatives come and nitpick my house and I look at them and I say, “Thank you.” Because guess what? They’re an idiot.
They might say, “Well your house is too clean. You shouldn’t spend so much time cleaning.” Unless you are OCD and you have some crazy thing where you’re spending hours a day cleaning your house, your house is normal. There’s a certain amount of time cleaning that has to go into a house every single day to maintain it.
So you’ll usually spend a good hour a day cleaning and tidying up. There are things that you have to do as part of everyday living and most of the time we do it without thinking.
Let it Go When People Nitpick Your House
So if it’s regular maintenance, no big deal. But if somebody nitpicks you because of your house, let it go. The world is full of people that will say glorious things about you and there are people who will try to bring you down and suck the life out of you.
You can’t take either one of those very seriously. So whether people are gushing on you or whether they are gushing on you the other way, smile and go, “Thank you.”
A lot of times people say stuff to get you all riled up and then they can have this huge dramatic thing going on. It consumes a lot of time and energy to focus on the things they say – and in the end, it doesn’t matter anyway. You just have to stay positive no matter how difficult people are.
Keep Your House Without Drama
My home is a place of no drama. My house is a safe place and your house should be too.
When I come to my house, I want to feel like, “This is awesome. I love being here.“
So if someone else comes into my house and they make me feel differently about my space, they can turn around and walk out the door because I do not need that.
Don’t Let People’s Complaints Ruin Your Positive Home
There are people that have been banned from my home. The same way we would delete and block someone on Facebook, for example, I have deleted and blocked those people from my home.
Like, “Hey, Whoa. I don’t know who you think you are, but your negative energy is not welcome here. This is a place of refuge, a safe place. This is a happy place. This is a place of harmony.”
“And if you don’t like being here and this is not good enough for you, then turn around and high tail it out of here because you’re not welcome here.“
Protect Your Happy Space From Complaints
So, I’m not trying to be ugly but I’m trying to maintain and protect my space. If someone is complaining about you, they don’t need to be at your place.
The world is full of people that will accept you for you, not for the space that you live in.
We Embody the Space we Live in
We embody the space that we live in. It’s an extension of us. If you are all sunshine and rainbows your house will be too.
And so, if you are a clean, tidy, organized person that lives in harmony, that’s going to show up in your house. When you go out and get in your car, your car is going to be an extension of your home. And so everywhere you go, you take who you are with you.
So who you are as a person and if you’re this no drama, tidy, happy person, that goes with you and fills your home and car with the same.
Don’t Embody a Complaining Attitude
Don’t embody it, don’t think about it and don’t try to understand it. Keep a positive attitude and hopefully, the people who visit will be positive as well.
Some people are chronic complainers. That’s who they are. They’re mean and it has nothing to do with you. Because when they’re gone, all of a sudden it’s like flipping on the light switch. Everything is good and kind and happy again.
Don’t Take it Personally When People Complain
You can’t take it seriously. Don’t take it personally and whatever you do, don’t focus on it.
It’s a colossal waste of your time and energy to either think that you deserve the compliments or complaints.
If you are spending time worrying about what other people think about how you clean your house you waste valuable time in your day.
*** Resources From This Episode***
The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse – https://amzn.to/2Sa16fy
Out of the Mirror: A Workbook of Healing for Adult Children of Covert Narcissists – https://amzn.to/2FMQ4qS
The Highly Sensitive: How to Stop Emotional Overload, Relieve Anxiety, and Eliminate Negative Energy – https://amzn.to/2WfTEPg
Narcissistic Abuse and the Narcissism Epidemic: Losing Your Sanity to Overt and Covert Manipulation Tactics – https://amzn.to/2S1VYdC
29 Ways to Keep the Peace with the Narcissist in Your Life: Avoiding Overt and Covert Abuse from Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder – https://amzn.to/2CFMRWe
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