Depressed and Cant Cope with Cleaning, Angela Brown, Savvy Cleaner

Depressed And Can’t Cope with Cleaning?

Are you depressed and can’t cope with cleaning? When you’re unmotivated to clean the house, the little things stack up!

Not sure how to overcome negative thoughts and depression? Or how to get motivated to clean when overwhelmed by mess? 

Try out this advice and discover the importance of reframing your thoughts. 

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Hey there, I’m Angela Brown, and this is Ask a House Cleaner. This is a show where you get to ask a house cleaning question, and I get to help you find an answer. You can find this and 400 other answered questions in this series on our YouTube channel.

Depressed and Having a Hard Time Cleaning

Depressed and Can't Cope with Cleaning, Worried House Cleaner ThinkingDepressed and having a hard time moving forward cleaning, what do you do? A house cleaner asked this question.

I’m a stay-at-home mom who is currently going through depression. I have a hard time washing dishes. I have a hard time wiping down, sweeping and mopping my floor. And I have a hard time even making dinner. I know that you’re not a specialist in this area, but any tips?

I watched you on video, and some of the tips are helpful, but I wanted a little more tips on how to manage the situation because I’m a 27-year-old housewife who’s stuck. Also, I try so hard, but it never gets me very far. So, any much help would be greatly appreciated.”

I Want to Reread Your Comments First

Depressed and Can't Cope with Cleaning, Laptop with Blue Shoes on ScreenThe first thing that I want to do before I reread your comments is to suggest this. Our mind are playing back a tape over and over and over again all day, every day, whether we’re aware of it or not.

And it’s like a Google Search. When you go and you search for, let’s say, blue shoes on Google, Google does not have any prejudice whatsoever. It’s going to go try to find the best user experience and it’s going to bring back to you what it thinks you are looking for based on where you live, based on other things you’ve searched for in the past and a series of other algorithmic things.

Then you’re going to look down at the different options and you’re going to choose the one that best fits into your life.

Google is Not Prejudiced About Anyone

Depressed and Can't Cope with Cleaning, Depressed Woman Looks at PhoneThe reason for bringing up Google is because Google is not prejudiced about any type of person. It gives you what it thinks you’re looking for. Our life is the same way. It’s our unconscious mind.

So, every time we say something, it’s like putting a Google Search out into the universe. And so, our mind says, “Is it this?” And it keeps bringing back to us exactly what we are sending out. Here’s where it gets powerful. It’s absolutely free. It doesn’t cost you anything to do this whatsoever. But if you’re getting the wrong results in your life, you can start asking new questions.

It’s like getting a bad Google Search where you’re like, “No, that is not what I’m looking for.” So, you change the search term. It’s a very simple process, but it’s also a simple process with our minds. So, if we are getting the bad results that are not working out for us, we have to change the things that we say to ourselves.

You Have to Change What You’re Saying to Yourself

Depressed and Can't Cope with Cleaning, Woman Using Phone to Record MessageThe first thing you said is, “I’m going through depression.” So, you made a statement, “I am going through depression.” Now what happens is that sends that out into the universe and says, “Please help me make this true. Please help me find things that make me depressed.”

So, you need to try to change your attitude to say, “Wow, I’m experiencing my life to the fullest.” And even if you only say that over and over and over again, what happens is your mind starts finding things that bring your life to the fullest. It’s like Google Search coming back to you.

Saying “I’m Having a Hard Time” Sends a Message to the Universe

Depressed and Can't Cope with Cleaning, Sad ManThe next comment was, you said, “I have a hard time washing dishes.” All right, I’m having a hard time, and sending out a message to the universe, “I need to have a hard time. Make this be a hard time for me.”

And so, what happens is you start doing things that are called self-sabotage, where instead of doing something that would be easy at the moment, we become what we think about.

And so, if you say I’m having a hard time doing dishes, you will do things unconsciously to make it hard for you to do dishes.  It’s a weird twisted mind.

You Have to Make the Change

Depressed and Can't Cope with Cleaning, Dust MopThe next comment was, “I have a hard time sweeping and mopping my own floor.” Again, “I’m having a hard time.” If it was easy, this statement would not be true. And so, to make that change, like changing the Google Search, we have to change the statement like, “Wow, I love cleaning my floor and they do it after every meal.”

So, what does that look like after every meal? Is that with a paper towel wiping up crumbs that fell on the floor? Is that grabbing a squeegee mop and going around the floor real quick?

But I’m having a hard time sweeping and mopping my floors says, “If this is true, I’m looking for the hardest way to make this true.” And so you’ll put it off, put it off, put it off, put it off until it becomes hard and now it’s true, So, if you change the tape, it’s like changing Google Search. It changes what your mind starts processing.

Cooking Isn’t Easy for Everyone

Depressed and Can't Cope with Cleaning, Worried Woman Making DinnerThe next one says, “I have a hard time even making dinner.” Now, I’m not saying that it’s easy to make dinner. Making dinner is challenging for a lot of people, but what if you were to do a series of things that made making dinner easy?

For example, in my own life, I’m not a fan of cooking. It’s not a good use of my time. So, I cook one day a month and I cook all my meals at the same time. That for me is fun, it’s easy, it’s a diversion, and I can cook all of the meals for the entire month and then put them in the freezer. So, I love it. I can listen to podcasts while I’m doing it. It’s kind of like Angela’s day out. I get to go shopping for food. I get to make all these meals.

And I don’t actually do a lot of cooking. I use a lot of crockpots and I let the cooking happen over a period of time so that I do get the best use of my time, and so that it is not something that’s grueling for me. I’ve changed it in my mind instead of saying, “I hate cooking,” to say, “Wow, what a fun little diversion for me for the day? I got to cook today.” So, I want you to start changing the words that are coming out of your mouth.

You Can’t Say That You’re Stuck

Depressed and Can't Cope with Cleaning, Worried Man Thinking The next thing you said was, “I’m a 27-year-old housewife who is stuck.” When you say I am stuck, what happens is you’re sending a message to the universe, like the Google Search where you say, “I am stuck.” So, if you are unstuck, then your mind is like, “Nope, she’s unstuck.”

That’s not true. For this to be true, you have to create situations. Again, self-sabotage, where you create situations in which you can be stuck so that the tapes that you’re playing over and over in your head become true.

It’s like Google Search. It’s going to say, “Is it this, is it this, is it this, is it this?” And you will not recognize it until it matches the statements that you say.

How to Fix a Sense of Defeat

Depressed and Can't Cope with Cleaning, Woman Sitting on DockThe next one, “I try so hard, but it never gets me very far.” So, it’s this sense of defeat. Again, your mind is saying, “What does that look like?” And it’s going to keep trying and trying until it finds exactly what matches up with the terms that you are using. Now, the reason it becomes so important is that all day during the day, and this is especially true for house cleaners, we play tapes in our heads while we’re cleaning.

We’re thinking of things and there are thoughts that run through our minds. Now, where we get those thoughts is irrelevant. It doesn’t matter where or who we get them from. If they no longer work for us, we have to wipe those out.

We‘ve got to get rid of those thoughts. It’s like bad Google Searches. It keeps bringing back stuff. We’re like, “That is not what we’re looking for.” So, we have to clarify first, what are we looking for, and what does that look like?

Your Mind is Going to Make Your Situation Worse

Depressed and Can't Cope with Cleaning, Woman Sitting in WindowSo, if you wake up in the morning and you’re like, “Oh, I feel so sick,” then everything that you do for the rest of the day is going to make you sicker. Does that make sense? Your mind makes it worse. So, if you feel sick, what you have to do is you have to stop and you have to say, “What is right with my body? Wait, my ears. I have perfect hearing. My ears don’t hurt. My ears are perfect.”

Maybe you’re feeling bad, but I got perfect ears. What about your arms? My arms, they pick up things. They move things. I got full movement, full range of my arms. You might feel horrible, but your arms are perfect.

Start Thinking What is Right, Not What is Wrong

Depressed and Can't Cope with Cleaning, Woman with Fingers Circling EyeYou need to start thinking about what is right with this situation, not what is wrong. Because when you focus on what is wrong with the situation, you’re going to attract that to you like a magnet. And this is what we are unaware of, which is why we need to pay attention to this. What you say and what you think is like a magnet that attracts those things into your life.

And if you are unconscious about the process, and your seven comments were negative-based comments. So, if you are unaware of what you’re saying, and I’m not trying to nitpick on you, this could be anyone anywhere with the same situation.

And I’m glad that you called me because this gives us a chance to have this conversation. If you are unaware of what you’re thinking, do exactly what you did to me, record it, and listen back to it. And listen back to it and listen to the words. “Am I telling myself something that is stopping me dead in my tracks from progress every single day. And is it about relationships? Is it about money? Is it about family? What is it that I’m telling myself?” And then look around at the world around you.

The Answers are Around You Right Now

Depressed and Can't Cope with Cleaning, Woman with Arms OutThe answers to what you are saying are around you right now. We live in the world we have created, or the world we have accepted. And so if you look around and this is not the world that you want to be in. The very first thing you can do, and it’s absolutely free, is to stop what you’re doing and to listen to the words that are playing in your head.

If over and over and over, you’re telling yourself, “I’m stuck. I’m having a hard time doing this. I’m depressed. I don’t feel well. All these things are going against me.”

That’s exactly what you’re going to get more of. Exactly what you’re going to get more of. So, change the narrative. When you change the narrative, it changes the search. And when you change the search, you start getting different results.

You Have to Change the Narrative

Depressed and Can't Cope with Cleaning, Happy Man on ComputerHere’s the beautiful part about it. When you change the narrative and it changes the results coming back to you, you recognize them when they arrive, because you’ve been telling yourself over and over again, “This is what I’m looking for. I’m fantastic at this. I love making meals. I’m so great at mopping floors. I am a champ at cooking meals.”

And by the time you start telling yourself these things, as they come back into your world, you’re like, “Yes, I did it. I did it.” And why did you do it? You did it because you changed the narrative and you were able to recognize it when it came back to you.

You don’t realize how many people you have helped by us discussing this. And it’s not for house cleaners, it’s for homeowners and house cleaners alike, because as you change your narrative, your life will change.000 Savvy Cleaner Spacer Bar 2020Resources

These good karma links connect you to Amazon.com and affiliated sites that offer products or services that relate to today’s show. 

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The Self-Compassion Deck: 50 Mindfulness-Based Practices – https://amzn.to/3ciJGUB 

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Made Simple – https://amzn.to/2xwSzem 

Practicing Mindfulness: 75 Essential Meditations to Reduce Stress – https://amzn.to/35FxgE8

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